Failure
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In the corner of the library, 10 minutes ago I was waiting for something (I thought it will make me better and give a better experience). May be I was too assured that I can succeed the final test confidently. Now, my heart, is like being tested. I am trying to always accept this, again. Knowing that you have tried so many times with confidence, with your heart, as well as you can, but you get failure, is like "I am really nothing". Yes, sometimes, I feel prostrate of this situation, just waiting for something I don’t know how it will end. Maybe I have too many sins in my life that I am facing this now, or He wants me to try again, making another effort hardly.
The thing is, I haven't given something better for my parents, also for my self. I am always dreaming my parents' smile everyday if sometime I can use
my knowledge as well. I have to rebuild my almost lost determinations.
Immediately, I remember, yesterday I watched
a video from an Ustadz, about the magical power of patience, how our Prophet
Ayub got his test from Allah for about 20 years after his wealthy conditions. But, he
believed it will end in the right time. He never asked for anything
even though he is loved by Allah, he never asked Him for ending the problems.
He waited until the limit of time that Allah has planned to, the time he
finally got his double prosperity due to his patience. I have to believe in the
same way as him. I have to be strong, keep trying, and never hope for something
or someone except Allah, though those are difficult to do.
April 14, 2016.
11.09 am.
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KABAR BAIK!
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